


I'm Okay.

by mujiwastesink



Category: Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2018)
Genre: Goven, Healing, M/M, Recovery, Second Chances, Valentine's Day, almosts sequel, short fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 16:48:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17791091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mujiwastesink/pseuds/mujiwastesink
Summary: Joven gets a Valentine's date, thanks to Remy and Feli's enabler tactics.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was posted first on Twitter but is unfortunately already unavailable. Still, thank you to everyone who supported this one and its prequel, "Almosts". I might import that today as well.

joven found himself staring at the full-length mirror in his dorm room. he's undoubtedly gained some weight, and he has no one to blame but himself for eating away his feelings for the past year.

  
"hmmm, mag-iitim ba ako ngayon o mag-aasul? o... green?" he asked himself as soon as he snapped back to his thoughts. it was the annual valentine's party for their college today, and there was an outfit color code based on your status. red for couples, pink for those who want to mingle, blue for proud singles, black for the bitters, green for the brokenhearted, yellow for the ones with extreme crushes, white for the asexuals (professor buencamino's suggestion), and so on.  
  
so, joven needs to do a self-evaluation. where does he fit in now?  
  
"meh. bahala na diyan," he whispered and grabbed a blue shirt.  
  
**  
  
"blue? ba't hindi ka na lang nag-yellow?" feli asks as soon as nakita niya itong tumatakbo papunta sa kanila. "i mean, hindi naman sikreto kay mr. sexy-in-glasses na crush mo siya, diba?"  
  
feli was right. he knew. although his secret admiration for the boy who has classes in the next classroom on tuesdays was never supposed to be public. feli and remy were the first to know about it, of course. and being the supportive friends they are (who have trash-talked vicente more than joven himself), and were only happy to see that joven still had some thirst left in him, had made it their job to shout "joven, yung crush mo oh!" everytime they pass him by the hall.  
  
joven would only hide in either of their backs or put his head inside his drawstring bag out of embarrassment.  
  
"ayoko lang magmistulang fangirl, that's all," joven reasoned. that's been his mantra ever since he decided to have a crush again. it's not like there's anything wrong with fangirling over your crush, it's just that someone as popular in the campus as goyo would never even talk to someone like him, so what's the point?  
  
although joven can't really deny that he does squeal inside like a fangirl when he sees him.  
  
"babe, flowers for you!" the three friends overheard a nearby couple. joven found himself staring at them at a weird amount of seconds.  
  
_oh, wow. it's been a year._  
  
"natulala ka nanaman diyan. dapat nga siguro nag-itim ka," remy commented, bringing him back from his thoughts. "joven, tama ang ginawa mo, okay?"  
  
"hindi ba ako masyadong naging mean sa kanya?" joven asked. "pinairal ko ang galit ko last year. baka siguro magkaibigan na kami ulit ngayon."  
  
"kung naging magkaibigan ba ulit kayo, sigurado kang makakakaya mo? hindi ka mahuhulog ulit?"  
  
"hindi ko alam."  
  
"kaya mas mabuti nang tinaboy mo siya for good. may mga tao talaga sa buhay natin na hindi tinadhanang pumirme sa buhay natin. accept what happened, and move on, okay?"  
  
"and speaking of move on..." feli interrupted with a knowing look. "remy, alis na muna tayo."  
  
"oh, oras na ba? sige. joven, ok ka lang ba dito?"  
  
"ha? bakit? wala akong kilala di--"  
  
"hey," joven felt a hand in his shoulder.  
  
_shit._  
  
_gregorio del pilar._  
  
_wearing glasses._  
  
_bye._  
  
"um... sabi ng mga kaibigan mo kailangan mo daw akong kausapin? class chairpersons things daw?"  
  
"wha-- sinong nag-imbento niyan?!" joven turned around to stare at the two. but they weren't there anymore.  
  
_those bitches_.  
  
joven composed himself. he tried to ignore his pounding heartbeat. but how is that possible when they were practically staring at each other, and he's being reminded of the night he first saw him?  
  
"oh, i'm so sorry. naniwala ka naman sa kanila. sine-set up lang talaga nila ako."  
  
"i figured as much," goyo said. "naririnig ko naman ang sinasabi nila kung nagkakasalubong tayo eh."  
  
joven's pale face turned bright red. "i'm... ugh. i have no words."  
  
"masyado ka rin naman kasing pahalata eh. nagtatago ka pa, even though you're a grown man. nakikita ka pa rin," goyo added with a chuckle.  
  
"eh hindi mo naman dapat malaman yun. sobrang supportive lang talaga yung friends ko."  
  
awkward silence. joven thought na aalis na agad si goyo pagkatapos niyang i-deny ang sinabi nina feli at remy. he wasn't expecting him to stay this long.  
  
"so, um... gusto mo ba ng maiinom?"  
  
_what._


	2. Chapter 2

"so, juice or wine?" goyo asked again.  
  
"no, i'm good. hindi naman ako nauuhaw eh," joven declined. to tell the truth, he _was_ thirsty. (and that, in no way, isn't to be interpreted in a sexual context. he really did need liquids in his body. no, that last sentence isn't in any way sexual either.)  
  
"so, you want something to eat?"  
  
"gregorio, it's okay. enjoy mo na lang yung party. hahanapin ko na lang sina remy at feli," joven declined once again. even he was surprised that he was able to say that many words in front of his crush. weird.  
  
"nah, it's been boring. buti nga may kausap na ako eh. you wanna go somewhere?"  
  
_**shit. anong gagawin ko?**_  
  
"h-ha?"  
  
goyo chuckled. "look, this party is boring the hell out of me. plus, hindi naman kita pwedeng iwan ditong mag-isa."  
  
if joven's heart wasn't beating too fast earlier, it was now.  
  
"b-bakit? i mean, of course you can." he stuttered. this was all happening too fast. literally just a few minutes ago, he was worlds apart from his crush. and now he's practically asking him on a date.   
  
joven, wag mag-assume. wag marupok. alam mo na ang kahahantungan mo kung magiging assumero ka nanaman ulit.  
  
"eh halata naman sa'yong hindi ka sanay sa parties eh. especially kung wala kang kilala. so, let's go?"  
  
"wait, gregorio. what are you up to?"  
  
"nothing. bakit, ikaw? may problema ba?"  
  
"we barely know each other."  
  
"that's what makes it more exciting, hindi ba?"  
  
"but..."  
  
"no buts."  
  
"are you sure you want to be seen with... someone like me?"  
  
"what are you talking about?"  
  
_**what a perfect time for my insecurities to attack, huh?**_  
  
"you're a popular guy in the campus... and i'm an ugly nobody. sigurado kang gusto mong isipin ng mga taong magkakilala tayo? hindi ko lang naman gustong--"  
  
"sinong nagsabing pangit ka?!" goyo suddenly raised his voice. they were both surprised. "i mean... you're better looking than most."  
  
"um...thank you? pero--oof!"  
  
and now, gregorio del pilar is dragging him by the hand. this is too much interaction between them. this is more than joven's heart can handle.  
  
**  
  
"dito na lang ako sa likod," joven says when they reach goyo's car. as he tried to open the door, goyo held him by this shirt's collar and gently dragged him forward.  
  
"gusto mo ba akong magmistulang personal driver mo?" goyo asked.  
  
joven realized how weird that would've been and buried his face in his hands. "shet, oo nga. sorry. sorry talaga. ang tanga ko. ugh."  
  
**_he's kinda cute._**  
  
"hahaha. ok lang. get inside," goyo said and patted joven's back.   
  
**_ang cute. parang bata._**  
  
once they were inside and started driving to wherever goyo has planned to go, joven didn't know what to do. should he start a conversation? formally introduce himself? or keep quiet? isn't that a little rude?  
  
"so, what's your deal?" goyo asked, sensing the discomfort in his companion.  
  
"h-ha?" joven stuttered again. in a way, he was thankful he started the conversation first.  
  
"ba't ka ba nagtatago kung tinutukso ka ng mga kaibigan mo?"  
  
joven turned red once again. "gre--"  
  
"and stop calling me 'gregorio', parang ang tanda ko pakinggan. goyo na lang."  
  
"o-okay."  
  
"so ba't ka nagtatago?"  
  
"i don't know? nahihiya lang ako, i guess. matagal na rin since nagka-crush ako kaya hindi ako sigurado sa mga tamang gagawin ko," joven explained.  
  
goyo raised a brow. "what do you mean? may proper way ba sa pagkakaroon ng crush?"  
  
"oo, para sa'kin. i'm considering a lot of things. kaya nga at first ayaw kong sumama."  
  
"no offense, and not to kiss my own butt... pero ba't ayaw mo sanang sumama? i mean, free time kasama ang crush mo! ba't mo pa tatanggihan 'yan?"  
  
"because i'm not trying to date you, gregorio del pilar."


	3. Chapter 3

"because I'm not trying to date you, gregorio del pilar," joven reasoned out. "wala akong panahon para sa mga ganyan."  
  
"o...kay? so what's the point na nagka-crush ka sakin if you don't want to date me?" goyo questioned. "legit yan na question ha."  
  
"hindi ba pwedeng gusto ko pang makaranas ng kilig ulit?" joven whispered. goyo heard it anyway.  
  
"oh, okay. i was just asking. nasanay lang siguro akong maraming nakapila para mabigyan ko ng minuto? i don't know," goyo replied with a shrug and continued driving.  
  
"i swear, kung sasabihin mong swerte ako dahil binibigyan mo ako ng oras ngayon, bubuksan ko ang pinto at tatalon,"  
  
goyo shrugged again. "wala akong sinabing ganyan, hernando. but you're free to feel lucky."  
  
well, joven does kind of feel lucky right now. it's fucking **_valentine's day_** , and he's alone with his crush. if he isn't the luckiest person in the world, who is?  
  
but would he admit that to goyo? no.  
  
in the end, men only ever care about their ego. goyo is no exception.   
  
**  
  
"good evening sir, enjoy your date!" that's what welcomed them as soon as they entered a small diner. joven felt his blood rush up to his face but chose not to say anything.   
  
"so, _babe_ , anong gusto mong kainin? libre ko." goyo joked while they were falling in line. as soon as joven heard the joke, his mood changed. goyo found himself the subject of a sharp stare.  
  
"uhhh... may problema ba?"  
  
"wala naman," joven answered. "um... kung ano i-oorder mo, yun din yung akin. cr muna ako."  
  
"joven... ok ka lang ba?"  
  
"yes. ok lang."  
  
until now, he still hates hearing _**that**_ word.  
  
**  
  
goyo pulled a chair out of the table and helped joven in. joven muttered a simple "thank you", and went back to being quiet.  
  
"joven... was it my joke?" goyo asked moments later. "i'm sorry. hindi ko naman alam na ayaw mong ginaganun."  
  
"h-ha?"  
  
"hindi ko na uulitin."  
  
"no, no! okay lang. ako nga dapat yung mag-sorry. ang arte ko, libre na nga 'to and all."  
  
"eh, it's my responsibility to keep you enjoyed and invested. i dragged you out of that party kahit hindi naman tayo masyadong magkakilala. i'm sorry, joven."  
  
**_way to spoil the mood and make things awkward, joven._**  
  
they started eating their food quietly. goyo kept throwing joven some worried looks and joven was aware. should he tell him? "it's just that..." joven started. "the last person who jokingly called me that... it didn't end well."  
  
"oh. i should've known."  
  
"it's okay. bago lang naman tayong nagkakilala kaya naiintindihan ko."  
  
"masakit pa ba, joven?"  
  
"hindi na masyado. minsan, masakit kung ma-alala ko. pero hindi na tulad ng dati. kaya nga ako nag-blue, diba?" joven forced out a smile and continued eating.   
  
"that reminds me. ba't ka pala nag-red?" joven asked seconds later. and then realizes the meaning. "SHIT. BA'T NANDITO KA?! BA'T AKO ANG KASAMA MO? BA'T HINDI MO KASAMA ANG GIRLFRIEND MO???"  
  
"joven..." goyo whispers, in an effort to stop joven's increasing freakout.  
  
"BAKA MAGALIT ANG GIRLFRIEND MO NA MAY KASAMA KANG LALAKING MAY CRUSH SA'YO!!!"  
  
"JOVEN!"  
  
"AYOKONG MAGMISTULANG THIRD PARTY! NEVER AGAIN!"  
  
"JOVEN WALA AKONG GIRLFRIEND!!!" at this point, they were attracting a LOT of attention. joven has kept quiet, but is yet to calm down. goyo, however, felt what is left of his dignity sink down to his feet.  
  
**  
  
"shit, goyo... i'm so sorry," joven repeatedly says in the car. once they were out of the restaurant, goyo was fine. those people didn't know them. it's fine. they'll forget about it.  
  
"joven, i swear, it's okay. hindi tayo kilala ng mga yun."  
  
"pero... UGH NAKAKAHIYA PA RIN!!!"  
  
"hindi naman ikaw ang napahiya dun. ako nga dun yung lumabas na cheater, eh."  
  
"wow. that makes me feel a lot better. i'm gonna jump off a bridge now."  
  
goyo laughed at how cute joven is when he's guilty. at the moment, he's repeatedly slapping his temples while muttering, 'nakakahiya ka joven'.  
  
"you know..." goyo began moments later. "may extra akong red shirt sa bag ko."  
  
"so?" joven asked.  
  
"is there any chance na mapapasuot ko sa'yo yan before the night ends?"


	4. Chapter 4

goyo has always been a flirt. this isn't a secret, and joven is aware even before he decided to have a crush on him. (anyway, it wouldn't matter since he wasn't planning to pursue him or anyrhing.)  
  
but what joven was shocked to know was this: goyo has never had a serious relationship.  
  
so why was he wearing red?  
  
simple. so that his fangirls wouldn't bother him today.   
  
when felicidad and remedios told him yesterday that joven wanted to talk to him about "presidential matters", he found himself rehearsing how he was going to approach him. he was pretty sure that this was just a setup for the both of them, he did find joven cute. the way he would hide when he was being teased, the way his eyes would widen in panic when they cross paths in the halls... all of it.  
  
he even reserved seats at the diner and full-tanked his car. the reason why, even he isn't sure.  
  
and now, he's accidentally blurted out a _horrible_ pickup line, insinuating that he wants to be in a relationship with this cute guy that he barely knows.

 

(but he doesn't want to be rejected either.)  
  
"h-ha?" joven stuttered as he adjusted his glasses. "a-anong ibig mong sabihin, goyo?"  
  
now it was goyo's turn to feel guilty about making things awkward. he decided to just drop the red shirt thing.  
  
"w-wala. i'm just joking. pero nalimutan kong ayaw mo palang binibiro ng ganyan. hehe."  
  
"ah. okay lang."  
  
and they keep driving. the silence is deafening.  
  
"hanggang 12 pa naman ang v-fest diba?" goyo awkwardly shifted the topic.   
  
"uh.. oo."  
  
"gusto mo bang bumalik sa school? baka nag-uumpisa na yung concert."  
  
"sure. sasakyan mo naman eh, ikaw bahala kung sa'n tayo pupunta."  
  
"eh kung i-uwi kita sa dorm ko?"  
  
**_TANGINA MO GOYO PIGILAN MO ANG LANDI MO_**  
  
joven reddened at goyo's... joke (is it a joke? yes. maybe), but what made him laugh was goyo's reaction to his own words. his eyes widened as soon as he realized how wrong that sounded.  
  
"i'm sorry. i'm trying to control it," he confessed. "hindi ako sanay na may kasamang allergic sa landi."  
  
"huwag mo lang akong paasahin, goyo. it's that simple. ayoko lang maulit ang mga katangahan ko."  
  
"are you going to tell me about it?" goyo was more serious this time. "i know bago lang tayo nagkakilala pero... it's okay rin kung ayaw mo."  
  
joven took one look at him and knew he could trust him with his story.   
  
"okay."  
  
**  
  
when they reached the school's gate, they were able to see the pink and red lights on the grandstand. the student bands were playing these cheesy, acoustic love songs that weren't goyo's cup of tea.  
  
he got out of the car first and opened joven's door for him. joven gave him a small smile and went out.  
  
"you know, kung allergic ka pa rin sa valentine's, pwedeng dito na lang tayo sa sasakyan at makinig ng mga kanta ni adele," goyo joked, seeing joven still sad from having to remember all of what he went through just now.  
  
"hahahaha, kaya ko naman, goyo. ikaw?"  
  
"ako? syempre! hindi naman ako heartbroken!"  
  
joven laughed and started to walk to the grandstand. goyo went back to the car to get a jacket. when he found it, he flung it over joven's shoulders.  
  
"a-ano to?"  
  
"paraan ko ng pagsabing magiging okay din ang lahat."  
  
joven slightly giggled and continued making his way through the crowd. goyo followed.  
  
the current band onstage were performing an acoustic rendition of taylor swift's "king of my heart", and joven couldn't help but connect with the lyrics.  
  
_is this the end of all the endings?_  
 _my broken bones are mending_  
 _with all these nights we're spending_  
 _up on the roof with a schoolgirl crush_  
 _drinking beer out of plastic cups_  
 _say you fancy me, not fancy stuff_  
 _baby, all at once this is enough._  
  
_**no, joven. huwag kang kiligin. you barely know this guy**_.  
  
"joven?" goyo called by the third song they've watched.  
  
"yes?"  
  
"you're pretty cute."  
  
"h-haaaa??!"  
  
"i said, you're pretty cute."  
  
"th-thank you?"  
  
before he realized, goyo's chin was on his head.  
  
"sana hindi kita masaktan," the taller boy whispered as his hands made way to joven's.


	5. Chapter 5

_**TWO MONTHS LATER**_  
  
"ba, naglunch ka na ba?" goyo asked when he passed by joven in the hallway. joven was with his classmates, on the way to their next class. goyo's class, on the other hand, are just at the beginning of their lunch break. unfortunately, their lunch breaks aren't aligned during tuesdays and thursdays.  
  
"hindi pa, ba. chairperson duties," joven replies with their cute little nickname. it was born when goyo teased joven through text about the b-word (babe, duh). he would send them cut off in half, sending "ba-" to get his attention, and it stuck between them. joven didn't mind. in fact, he found it funny too.  
  
"oh. takeout na lang kita, ihahatid ko lang sa classroom niyo?"  
  
"hala, wag na. hindi pa naman ako nagugutom eh."  
  
"ba, kilala kita. two months na kitang nililigawan, nahihiya ka pa rin sakin. sige na, pumasok ka na dun. it would only take a few minutes."  
  
"gre-" he was cut off when goyo patted his head and turned him around so he was facing his next class. "wag magpalate," goyo says before running to the parking lot.  
  
the nearest mcdonald's was just walking distance from the csmpus, but he knew that at this hour, the lines would be crazy long and joven would be fainting from hunger by then. the only solution? drive thru.  
  
it's been two months since he started pursuing joven. to his surprise, joven was actually classmates with his brother, julian. julian had to repeat one grade because of migration issues, but when the family had to go back to america again, he stayed in the philippines.   
  
and he found out many things about him; like his weird obsession with ballpens ("HINDI TO BALLPEN, THIS IS A NEEDLE POINT GEL PEN! AND THIS ONE IS A FELT TIP FINELINER. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE, GOYO!") and his insecurities. over the days, he's been doing his best to help joven deal with them, especially with his "you're-too-nice-for-my-own-good" complex.  
  
but even so, goyo was determined.  
  
**  
  
"excuse me, sir! pwede ko bang hiramin si joven?"  
  
the stern-looking male teacher glared at goyo for interrupting his lecture, but gestured to joven to go. then he continued his lesson.  
  
"ang bilis mo naman ata," joven commented. he opened the plastic bag and saw that apart from the chicken sandwich, there was a large order of fries, and a monster sized mcfloat. and an apple pie.   
  
"wow, sana kumuha ka na rin ng happy meal," he sarcastically added.   
  
"gusto mo ba? babalik ako sa mcdo if you want."  
  
"i'm joking. anyway, magkano tong lahat?"  
  
"isang kiss lang," goyo replied with a pout, causing joven to move backward.   
  
"ba. magkano to?" he asked again in a serious tone.  
  
"libre lang. anything for you, ba."  
  
"ang dami kaya nito!"  
  
"don't worry, hindi naman mahirap ang future boyfriend mo! sige na, baka pagalitan ako ni sir na natagalan ka dito. pumasok ka na dun," goyo gently pushed him back to the classroom. "bye! enjoy mo ang class!" he added with a wave, and waited until joven was in his seat before leaving.  
  
**  
  
"masarap ba, mr. hernando?" the professor asked when he saw joven staring at nowhere in particular while eating his sandwich. the mention of his last name snapped him back from daydreaming.   
  
"...ano po, sir?"  
  
"masarap ba?" the teacher repeated.  
  
"ang sandwich, sir?" he cluelessly asked back.  
  
"hindi. ang boyfriend mo. masarap ba?"  
  
"S-S-SIR!!!"  
  
**  
  
_**bernal's diner, 5 :00 p.m.**_  
  
"so diba sabi ko kanina, huwag mong i-disregard ang decimal places? yung may pinakamalaking decimal places, bigyan mo ng +1," goyo explained. joven scratched his head as he followed the instructions.  
  
joven, even though he graduated on top of his class in high school, was admittedly a dud when it comes to math. thankfully, being naturally smart at all other subjects, he was able to put focus on it in high school. but now, in college, it was impossible to catch up to it.  
  
goyo, on the other hand, was unusually good at math. what he lacked in other subjects, he made up in math.   
  
"let's take a break," joven gives up after he gets stuck. he takes a sip from his soda.  
  
"so... ano nga palang pinag-usapan niyo ng classmate mo noong weekend na nag-picnic tayo?"  
  
"oh, that was him."  
  
" _him_? you mean... _him_?"  
  
"yup. bumisita lang naman daw."  
  
"hindi ba bumalik ang feelings mo?"  
  
"hindi. wait, are you jealous?"  
  
"no."  
  
"why not?"  
  
"dahil alam kong ako na ang mahal mo."  
  
"well.. tama nga naman."  
  
**(goyo didn't expect that.)**  
  
"ulitin mo nga."  
  
"balik na tayo sa apportionment," he replied with a chuckle.  
  
"BA, DID YOU MEAN WHAT I THOUGHT YOU MEANT? TAYO NA BA?"  
  
"oo nga. ang kulit naman."  
  
"SHET I'M SO HAPPY!" goyo stood on the chair and shouted: "GUYS KAMI NA. THAT GUY RIGHT THERE, THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND NOW!"  
  
the people on the diner applauded for them. (of course, there were disgusted looks, but people gawk at what they don't understand.)  
  
joven, while extremely blushing, was extremely happy right now. after that meeting with vicente, and after realizing he was completely fine now, he was ready. he still doesn't feel deserving of all the love goyo has given him, but goyo is also the one reminding him why he does.  
  
**i guess** , joven thought, **i had to go through all that pain and sadness... for me to be more appreciative of what is to come.**  
  
"i love you," he mouthed at the boy dancing happily on the chair.  
  
"i love you too," goyo mouthed back.  
  
this is enough.  
  
in that moment, he knows he's finally okay.  


**Author's Note:**

> Why did I import this today? Because this kinda happened to me yesterday. Kinda. 20 minutes lang naman sa jailbooth HAHAHAHA


End file.
